For this NY Congressional hopeful, Shabbat is a constant—and an inspiration

At Great Neck North High School in the early aughts, there was one thing you could count on: If it was a Saturday night, there was a party at Mathew Shurka’s house.

We were in the New York City suburbs, and our weekends consisted of crisscrossing basements and backyards across town, pulling out our Nokia phones to see where everyone else was. Most of the time, they were at Mathew Shurka’s house. 

Mathew was a year younger and lived in a big house deep into town. I had been to his house many, many times, but I don’t think I ever actually spoke to him in high school. It would be more than a decade before I saw him again—and learned what was actually going on during those years. 

It was the summer of 2019, and my college BFF Irene came to town for a visit. I was still at my office when she got into the city, so she rolled into the cafe below my apartment to wait for me. Soon I got a text from her: I’m sitting with a guy you went to high school with.

When I walked in a little while later, Irene was sitting with an incredibly familiar figure.     

“Mathew Shurka!” I said as I walked over. “The party guy.” 

What Mathew proceeded to tell me was one of the wildest stories I had ever heard. The legendary parties he threw in high school were his way to gain social acceptance while hiding a secret: he was gay. (This was the early 2000s, and he was from a conservative Persian-Jewish family.) His high-wire act came undone when a few of the “bad boys” in my grade started trying to get into his parties—and ended up beating him up.

When he told me this, I did have a vague recollection of it happening, and the other guy getting sent to one of those Outward Bound programs. After Mathew recovered, he came out to his family. Soon after, his father sent him to conversion therapy, a controversial program that attempts to turn patients straight. After five years of the widely debunked and harmful treatment, Mathew started Born Perfect, an organization that lobbies to ban conversion therapy in the United States. 

Over the next decade, Born Perfect helped get legislation passed in 27 states and more than 120 cities. Mathew also met his fiancé, restaurateur Lisle Richards, who it turns out owned the cafe below my apartment building. They host beautiful Shabbat dinners and holiday meals that I watch enviously on Instagram. And that guy who beat Mathew up in high school? They ended up reconciling years later and doing speaking events together, where they discussed the incident that set both of their lives on a new course. 

I told you it was wild. You can hear Mathew tell the whole story on the podcast High School Matters (which is hosted by our former biology teacher). 

Mathew’s latest journey is into politics: He’s one of the candidates to fill Jerrold Nadler’s House seat in the 12th Congressional District (which covers much of Manhattan). It’s a crowded race getting a lot of attention. GOLDA is decidedly not a political newsletter, but I love Mathew’s passion and always get a kick out of seeing a Great Neck kid representing us so well. 

I chatted with Mathew about the race, his love of Shabbat, and more. Read below for all that—plus his tips for hosting the perfect Persian-inspired Shabbat dinner.

You’re running in a high-profile race to replace longtime Congressman Jerry Nadler, who represents New York’s 12th District. What made you decide to pivot to politics, and why this race?

There’s something deeply meaningful about this race on a personal level. I would be the first Israeli-American elected to Congress, representing one of the most Jewish districts in the country. This community has a rich history, strong values, and a deep sense of responsibility to one another, and representation is most powerful when it’s authentic. I want to bring our lived experience, our heritage, and our commitment to justice and democracy directly into the halls of Congress.

This is also a really rare opportunity. NY-12 is a safely Democratic seat, which means voters have the chance to elect someone they truly believe in. We all talk about wanting a diversity of experiences and backgrounds in Congress, but if we’re serious about that, we have to make it happen. And this is our chance. I’m an outsider, not a career politician–which I see as an asset. But for the past 15 years, I’ve worked across party lines to pass bipartisan legislation around the country banning conversion therapy to make sure no other young person has to endure what I did. We banned conversion therapy in 27 states and more than 120 municipalities. So I have that experience, and I know I can bring that fight to Congress. 

The district includes the Upper West Side, and Nadler famously carried a Zabar’s shopping bag on the House floor. What New York City brand’s merch would you rep if elected?

Isle of Us, of course! My fiancé, Lisle Richards, owns this market and cafe on the Upper East Side, and it has the best… everything. They serve everything from breakfast burritos to fresh-baked pastries, along with a line of curated food products. They are coming out with a line of merch (breaking news), and I can’t wait to rep it all over Washington D.C.

I know this isn’t high school student government elections, but what’s one outlandish thing you wish you could campaign on?

Honestly, I think it would be incredible to have a day similar to what happens in Tel Aviv on Yom Kippur. It’s my favorite holiday to celebrate in Tel Aviv, less for the part of repenting my sins (although also important), but more for the incredible freedom and connection people experience in the city they love. After that last meal on Erev Yom Kippur, the cars disappear, the streets flood with residents. No cell phones, no TVs, no screens. Just pure human connection, walking across the surfaces we never get to touch. I know we have NYC summer streets, but imagine all of New York shut down for a full 25 hours? Biking, roller skating, a picnic in Times Square, a jog on the FDR, or sunbathing on lower 5th. It’s so special to have the city people built to be fully admired and immersed. Call it what you will, but I would love a federal holiday that replicates that here in New York.

Something I love seeing on Instagram is the beautiful way you and Lisle host Jewish holiday meals. Why is Shabbat important to you?

My family is Persian–they immigrated to Israel at its founding, and then my dad moved here as a young man. Staying connected to my heritage and history is really important to me, and Shabbat is one of the ways I can hold onto that. 

Shabbat is a time when we can reflect on our time here and what we value; a weekly check-in with the ones we love. We practice Shabbat every week with our family and believe that our collective Ashkenazi and Sephardic food heritage is a great way to celebrate the best parts of Jewish family life.  

Lisle and I both love hosting, and there’s something very special about bringing together friends and family for a quiet, sacred pause in the middle of our otherwise hectic lives.

Mathew Shurka’s Shabbat Picks:

Candleroom Beeswax Candles

I visit my father in Israel several times per year, and when I’m there, I always go to Candleroom. They have the most beautiful handmade beeswax candles that I bring home for Shabbat.

Il Buco Vita Casserole Dish

We have a casserole dish from Il Buco Vita, which Lisle uses to cook all the Persian khoreshes. It’s great because it can go straight from the stovetop or oven to the table.  It’s such a great, connected way to cook and serve a meal. 

Persian Cookbooks

Lisle loves these two Persian cookbooks—Food of Life: Ancient Persian and Modern Iranian Cooking and Ceremonies and Bottom of the Pot: Persian Recipes and Stories—but for different reasons. Food of Life feels like it's written by your favorite safta, with stories and lore and traditional food recipes. If FoL is your safta, Bottom of the Pot was written by your favorite cool cousin. It’s great because it’s classic Persian food but done in a modern way with more accessible ingredients. We bought Food of Life at one of our favorite bookstores, Kitchen Arts and Letters.

Tchotche Kiddush Cup

There is an amazing New York-based brand called Tchotchke that sells Judaica that we love. We have a couple of items, but we especially love their Amber Kiddush Cup, which we use every week for the prayers.  

GOLDA may earn a few shekels from purchases made through links in this article.

Thanks to Mathew for sharing his Shabbat hosting tips! And happy Super Bowl Sunday to all who observe.

Stay GOLDA,

Stephanie